Marriage and Long-Term Relationship Counseling And Coaching
What makes an intimate relationship so valuable is the profound closeness we have with our mates. We open our hearts, join our bodies, and unite our souls.
It is very painful for that connection to break, for conflict to tear it apart, or for distance to grow between us. When there are kids, the stakes of keeping the family together are even higher.
Keeping closeness alive requires:
- mutual respect and support
- the desire and ability to fulfill each other's needs
- a team dedicated to the goal of creating a loving, lifelong relationship
- good communication skills
- knowing how to handle the inevitable conflicts
Are any of these missing from your marriage or long-term relationship? Are you at a loss to know what to do about it? Just because your relationship is in trouble doesn't mean it has to stay that way. Most successful couples readily admit that they had their ups and downs, but that they worked through them. If you and your mate can't solve your problems by yourselves, it's time to get help.
Why My Marriage And Long-Term Relationship Clients Come To Me
Rare are the wise, proactive clients who come to see me when their problems first arise. Most people seek counseling after their conflicts have put their marriage or long-term relationship in danger. By this time emotions run high and buttons are red hot. Most would like to save the relationship, but many fear their differences are too great, or doubt that they can be overcome. Very occasionally a client just wants to end it as peacefully as possible.
The many issues I've helped my clients address individually and as a couple include:
- Not being a team
- Engaging in a power struggle
- Having no or bad relationship models
- Having patterns of behavior that ensure failure
- Having personal baggage or fixed ideas that sabotage their relationship
- Not being able to say what they need
- Not being able to listen to their mate's needs and take them seriously
- Unwilling to take responsibility for their part in problems
- Not able to work through conflicts and problems
- Not able to accept or respect who their partner is
- Distrusting their partner
- Not understanding how gender differences affect needs and behavior
- Having parenting or In-law issues
- Having financial issues
- Having Intimacy issues
- Keeping secrets about harmful acts
- Having a secret sex life
- Having sexual issues
How I Work
Many clients come to me without their mates because their partners won't get counseling or have their own counselor. Sometimes they go to a different couple's counselor. Ideally, I like to work with both partners individually and as a couple. That way I get the big picture: I can see what's going on from both perspectives, know where each needs specific help and can coordinate the counseling to the solve the problems at hand.
Although talking through issues is important, it's not the only tool I use. I'm goal-oriented and apply a whole array of methods. Whether it's individual or couple's counseling, there is usually personal work to clear away any baggage or patterns of behavior that are sabotaging your relationship, articles and books to read that give you vital information, new communications methods and relationship skills to learn, and coaching on how to deal with your specific issues. Expect homework.
At this point in your relationship it may be hard for you to see how things will change for the better. You don't need to. After I meet with you as an individual or as a couple, I will make an action plan to address your particular problems. Then you can begin, step by step, to do what needs to be done to move forward.
Contact Judith Claire, Los Angeles Personal, Career and Relationship Counseling And Coaching
2901 Ocean Park Boulevard, Suite 201, Santa Monica, California 90405
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